Prelude - Meres' Dream

       The heavy scent of trumpet flowers fills all the temperate air, which presses close against me as a lover's supple body. I turn slowly, and find the space in which I stand fully enclosed by the glowing titian blossoms. A saturated sunlight, as the gold of a late summer afternoon, shines through the burnished petals. All is sunset with no fading, sunset with all the promise of dawn, aureate sheen upon carmine unshadow. The color of the light coats me in fiery radiance, so thickly that I can feel it seeping into my veins, only---
       Only it is met midway by another light, a lightness already within me - an argentate effulgence, a shining with no shadow. And I know that my presence is not reliant on the flimsy, malleable construct of diluted blood and fragile flesh, it is instead all that I wish it to be, all that I have longed to have returned; the strength of the resplendent soul is more than sufficient for existence. Ah, to be free! To be no longer confined within weak mortal walls, to have complete freedom of dimensions again, every movement ecstasy after such long restraint. My wings, so large and glorious, luminous in their purity, spread behind me, and oh the rapture in the opening of them! Joy floods through me as I feel them unfurl: As a cripple rejoices when his legs are miraculously returned, so too does my very being sing as my wings open in that most graceful of unfolding. My back is stretched after being so long cramped and confined, I can at last draw full breath, I am open, I am spread wide and full and completed. My wings beat deep and slow, and lift me from the dead ground, and oh, the skies! There is such expanse, and such light, light a sparkling intangibility, and such air, air so fresh and untainted that it is an effervescence with every inhalation. I lift higher into the air, up among the blossoms of delicate cherry trees, the roseate petals swirling in the currents I leave in the air, flowing behind and around me as fluid shadows, but shadows that lack all darkness. There is no darkness here, only all-encompassing light, even where I have passed...
       The fragrance of the trumpet flowers remains with me as I soar higher and higher, unbound by the constraints of Icarus, for I was not born of earth as he. I was born of joy, of the pure delight which fills all light; there is no shadow here only dazzling radiance. I soar upward, the shining air rushing past me, carrying away all trace of night. The clouds pass through a thousand brilliant shades, rose and gold and colors without name, and my passing leaves open channels of pure light between them, as streams glistening at dawn. And I pass the clouds and am free of all atmosphere, and my voice flies from me in sheer rapture, the notes clear and true, and in the distance I hear the crystalline sound of the stars. I race higher, the air thinning still more and losing all earthly taint, my skin warming as I leave the shadowed places behind. I stretch toward the [chiming] sound, yearning toward the sound, desperate to reach it and breathless at the joy of the flight toward it, my heart at long last again filled with this light... My wings hardly strain though they have been so long unused, and I reach with all my being for the stars, my brothers my home, my voice mingling with theirs, adding another golden thread to the intricate harmonies of that ancient song which is ever-new, and has been sung since before all began...
       I will dance again among the very breath of the stars.
       My voice catches suddenly, as fabric on a nail, and my flight falters, staggers. I find my breathing is shallow and rapid, and my voice now gone. The air is sublimated by the scent of trumpet flowers, growing stronger with every gasping breath, sickening in its intensity, I wretch and stumble in the thin air and overpowering odor.
       And my wings, my wings! I scream in pain as they crack under the weight of my body, the weight of flesh and bone and blood, and my back explodes in fiery agony, and I fall I fall, into hideous darkness made tangible, darkness which stains my blood and consumes my wings I fall I...

       My eyes fly open as I grab at the sheets, my throat dry from screams and panting breath. My back is wracked in torment, my body shaking from pain and terror. My lungs ache for breath still feeling the vacuum of the fall. I feel the burning heat of blood spilling from my shoulder blades, the fire scalding my ice-chilled skin. The shadows of this place are so cold, so cold...
       Slowly, I bring this fragile body back under my control. I lie carefully on the sumptuous pillows, though even silk grates against my skin. When I am again reclined in a respectable pose, I ring for one of the servants. Scarcely a moment later there is a gentle knock at the door, and at my bidding a girl enters the dusky room. Ah! it is Delilah, as I had hoped.
       "My back is troubling me, child. Do soothe it for me." My voice is calm, and bears no trace of base emotion. I will betray no weakness to one such as this.
       Soundlessly, she disappears for a moment into the washroom, and returns with a pitcher and bowl, a soft cloth draped over one arm. She pulls away the blood-stained sheets, her motions graceful and professional, and I turn over to grant her access to my back. Hers is the only touch delicate enough for my searing flesh to stand at times like this. Even so, I flinch as the cool cloth touches the re-opened scars, the scars which never really heal...
       "Do close the window. I am cold, and the scent from the garden turns my stomach."
       She does so, then resumes her careful ministrations. I do not close my eyes, for fear I should fall back into sleep. I let my gaze slowly trace the intricate carvings on the headboard of rosewood, forcing my breath to be slow and full, the air of my room laced with the elegant scent of jasmine.
       "Sing, darling, but softly. My senses are delicate this morning."
       There is a momentary silence as she sifts through memory, then her sweet voice floats about me as a delicate mist. The song is a simple one, but her tone is pure and the notes are melodic, a gentle tune with short intervals and predictable changes. The effect of her song with the motion of her hands is incredibly soothing. I cannot help but fall into a light doze, where the world is dimly muted, the light suffused, and I will not dream.