Saturday, November 27, 2010

Notes

Alright! Just shy of a day behind on the wordcount. I snuck in an hour or so of writing last night before bedtime, which helped a little. I wrote a little extra today, and hopefully can squeak some more in. If not.. well, I'm off work on Monday and Tuesday, which are the last two days of November. ;)

The Official NaNoWriMo Word Counter usually tells me I have fewer words than I'd thought (every word count works differently) - I just found a forum thread that explains what Open Office's issue is. It likes to count the end-quotation marks as a word. This can be fixed by turning off the smart-quotes-like feature, so the quotes all stay straight instead of curly.

...unfortunately, mine are already all curly. I have a TON of conversation in the novel this year. I miiight go in and find-and-replace the quotes, but... more likely, I'll just write extra, cross my fingers, use the official word count, swear and fume and spew out a few hundred more words, and then hopefully hit 50k. Next year maybe I'll set it up properly from the start, and avoid the annual trauma.


On another topic - yes, I forgot about Cerise too. ^^; I've already made note to bring her into the middle areas of the story more, sometime when re-writing. I need more female characters! And she's a lovely little contrast to everyone else. Also, she will be a catalyst for the closing scenes, and.. well, she was in my dream that gave me the opening scene at the rose party. So, she stays, and needs to gain enough presence to merit staying. I have no idea why Luce, of all people, is her escort, but that's what he demanded of me this morning.

I'm glad I thought of a way for them to die, but be incapable of dying. I think it's a good balance. They need to be generally immortal, but... I suspect Veri ought to die, and it's going to break my heart to do that to Meres. Honestly, they were supposed to have a happy sweet little reunion like two scenes after the rose party! I have no idea what is happening to them, but it's making me really, really sad. It was supposed to be the love between the two of them that was the bright spot in the story...

19 - Luce

       “Is that not one of your companions? He does not look well, ought we to see if we might help?”
       I smile bemusedly down at the girl. “I would not have thought to do so, but perhaps we will. Veri rarely looks exactly well, but I am surprised to see him out at such an hour.”
       “...I probably ought not to be out at such an hour, myself,” Cerise comments thoughtfully.
       At this, I laugh. “Dear child. There is no harm in the night, and you have seen so much of the daylight! It is only fair that the moon ought to have the pleasure of shining down upon you as well, as the sun has done for so many years.”
       We change the angle of our path, and walk toward Veri, who is moving with halting steps toward the stables, that he might find his carriage and leave, I presume. The night is far from over – I am surprised that, having made the effort to actually attend, he would leave so early. He glances slightly toward the sound of our approach, but pretends he has not seen us. My lips quirk in a smile – he will not dodge me so easily.
       “Veri! My dear, you look quite weary. Shall I have your carriage sent round for you?”
       He exhales tiredly, and though he forces a weak smile for Cerise's benefit, his eyes are cold when they look into mine. “It will be here in a moment, I have already sent word. Do go in and enjoy the party – it does not suit my mood tonight, I am afraid.”
       “Then we shall wait here with you – it would hardly do to let you stand here, alone in the cold air. Have you left your jacket somewhere? I could get it for you, if you would like.”
       Veri raises an eyebrow at the girl's eager effusions, and I cannot help but chuckle, patting her arm, which is entwined with mine.
       “It's not necessary, I will be quite alright.”
       Cerise pouts a little, obviously unsatisfied by this answer. I can see Veri trembling, ever so slightly, though whether it is from cold or some other ailment, I cannot quite tell.
       “No, Cerise is right, we will wait with you. I am not certain we shall stay at the party long ourselves, though I thought we might look in on it. It is too lovely a night for a walk, to spend it indoors, lost in lamplit amusements, rather than under the silver moon.”
       Veri looks at the girl's face again, now seeming to remember her. I can see that he is noting her still-innocent expression. “She has not been to a party since the rose one, has she?”
       Cerise smiles, a little shyly, shaking her head. “I have not. And even that one, I left a little early, I felt so out of place... but Monsieur has been so considerate to me this evening, that I let him convince me to accompany him.” She smiles sweetly up at me, and I am pleased by the sweet naivety with which she beholds me. She is such a charming little thing, and so easily flattered into complacency.
       Veri looks slightly annoyed by all of this – but he is always annoyed by something, it is hardly of concern to me. Still, he considers the situation a moment, then meets my eyes. “I suspect she will feel even less comfortable at this one – it has become more Azal's style of party, in the main rooms.”
       Cerise looks curiously from one of us to the other, uncertain. Though she did not understand his meaning, I suspect he is warning me that the party has become an orgy of some sort, and he does not think I would want such a delicate flower as this subjected to such extreme debauchery. He is, of course, correct – but I had already planned to keep to the outlying rooms, for in what other direction could a Greek-styled party progress? Too much wine, and too much wildness of spirit in those ancient deities. I chuckle softly, patting her arm again, and smiling at Veri. “I shall keep watch on her, though I thank you for the advisement.”
       The clattering of wheels upon cobblestones is heard at a little distance, and Veri's eyes look up eagerly. “Ah! My carriage is here. Such tardiness, I shall have to have words with the driver. Good night, Luce, Cerise.”
       “Good night – and I do hope you feel better, after having some rest,” Cerise replies kindly, her large violet eyes filled with sympathy.
       Veri quirks a wry smile at this, and I think he is almost touched by the simple sincerity in her voice. “Thank you, dear. I hope so as well.”
       The carriage comes to a halt, a servant hopping down and coming around to open the door. Veri nods respectfully toward me, then steps inside, and is hidden from sight by the dark curtains covering the windows of his carriage. Cerise and I take a few steps back as the driver coaxes the horses into motion, and she watches the carriage pull away and up the street. She remains still another moment, after it has rounded a corner and passed out of sight.
       “You are quite thoughtful, my dear,” I prompt gently, watching her eyes, which do not seem to see the world before her, yet they are clearly fixed upon something.
       “Luce... Lord Veri is very unwell, isn't he.” Lord! I bite back a laugh. The girl insists upon using some sort of honorific when speaking of us, despite my explanation that we have long outgrown the use of such things. Since I will give her no options, she has chosen her own, trying out new ones on each meeting. But she continues to gaze intently after the long-gone carriage.
       “Yes, I am afraid that he is. We all have our ailments, but Veri... Veri has suffered a good deal more. His body is quite frail, it seems.”
       “He has no other focus for his thoughts – and so they focus only on his troubles, and pain flourishes under such attention.”
       I raise an eyebrow, pleased at her insight. “I believe that is a good portion of his trouble, yes.”
       “Still, there is... there is something else...” She narrows her gaze, as if squinting to read something written on some distant wall. “...his heartbeat so weak and slow...as if it loses the will to continue... loss surrounds him, it haunts all of you but most, most can keep it at bay, yet he lets it subsume him. Something... I think it will consume him, soon, something... something will break what little strength he has, and he will... oh, Luce, I fear---” She turns tear-filled violet eyes to me, her body trembling with wordless knowledge, pain filling her voice.
       “Child...”
       She throws herself into my arms, her body shaking with sobs and exhaustion. “So much pain, I... how do any of you live through it?”
       “Hush, darling girl...” I hold her warmly, stroking her hair soothingly. “It is not so terrible as you imagine.” This is a complete lie, but I could not tell her of the truth. “It is only that you have been wounded so little in your short life, that you cannot imagine such things. Do not trouble yourself too much. It is sweet of you to show such concern for Veri, but he has been in such state for longer than I can say. He will continue on, as he always has.”
       But she shakes her head, drawing shaky breath, blinking away tears in order that she might look into my eyes. Her gaze is eerily calm and certain. “No... No, Luce, I know. Veri will not live long, if his heart continues like this.”
       I can find no words to contradict the confidence with which she utters this doom. The girl is a seer, after all – perhaps her fresh young eyes can indeed see things that our tired ones miss. I stroke her hair thoughtfully, gazing off after Veri. And I wonder...
       When was the last time that... that one left this world? There have been a few, there were some in those first days, when we were entirely overwhelmed by our cursed state. There have been very, very few in the centuries since... and always, they were such strange ailments, which we could not seem to control. Unknown diseases, vicious decaying of living bodies, veins which exploded beneath the skin, such haunting, horrifying things. And then there were those with whom there was nothing at all to be seen... but left all the same. It has been long, long years, since any have gone. For though many of us have wished to end such meaningless prolonged existence, there is nothing that we can do. It does not matter how much we bleed, how shattered our bodies, how wracked with pain, how splintered our bones – though the recovery may take decades, and the damage is never fully absolved, we do not die...
       I startle, as something touches my cheek. My eyes regain sight on the world around me, and find Cerise gazing intently into my face. Her finger brushes at the corner of my eye – no, there are no tears there, but she saw that there could have been. I take a slow, deep breath, and force a weak smile into my face. I kiss her forehead tenderly.
       “Dear Cerise, you must forgive the wandering thoughts of one so old.”
       She smiles at this, and her soft eyes regain their fresh morning light. “You are far too handsome to be an old man!”
       I laugh, and hug her close a moment, burying my face in her flaxen hair. She smells of lilies and lilac, purity and youth and innocence in the scents of those simple flowers. I can feel her blush at such display, and I cannot help but kiss her hand tenderly as I draw back, my lips lingering a moment on her fresh silken skin. “The compliment is all the more flattering, for being given by one so lovely as yourself, dear Cerise. Come, let us continue our walk. We need not spend much time at the party, for I am certain it draws to that weary portion, where the novelty of the setting is just wearing away, and the guests begin to look for other amusements. But I should like to look in on a few of my fellows, and see if there is any fresh gossip of interest.”
       Cerise giggles, again taking my arm as we turn to continue walking. “I do not mean to laugh at you, but I can hardly picture you as being a gossip.”
       “Perhaps you do not know me so well as you think! I am quite the connoisseur of gossip.”
       She considers a moment. “I believe you are – but I also believe you invent as much of it as you hear from others.”
       I laugh. “So! You do know me, after all! It is always fascinating to me, to see how easily bewildered people can be, when one slips lies in among truths. They are far too trusting of rumors, in the first place. In the second place... why, many of the things I invented have become more true than the things I had heard!”
       She giggles, shaking her head. “And you call me a seer.”
       “Oh, I am no seer... I only see the world around me, and can read it with more accuracy than most. Predictions of the near-future is quite an easy matter, once one understands the motivations others operate under. And I have spent such time among my companions, that they are often easier to read than the headline on a newspaper.”
       “And what of myself? Am I so predictable to you?”
       I stop a moment, then lift her hand in mine and twirl her quickly about. She laughs, the whispy gray layers of her dress swirling about her as a mist. “Your motivation in this world is to bring beauty to it. To remind the old how beautiful is the world of the young. To remind those of us who walk at night how lovely is the morning dew.”
       She flushes shyly as she comes to a stop, glancing into my eyes happily. “You flatter me so!”
       “I do no such thing – flattery would imply that there is little truth to what I say. Come – I have been so terribly selfish, keeping you all to myself this evening. Let us go bring a breath of fresh moonlit air to the party.”